Thursday, March 17, 2016

Waiting For Happiness: Will It Really Come?

There used to be a period, or should I say periods, in my life where everything felt so dark and gloomy. People would try to encourage me--giving me platitude after platitude about how life gets better and that all I needed to do was hang on tight and I'd "arrive". I'd like to say I nodded and agreed, determined to be patient while I endured my version of Hell. Those who know me well are probably snickering because I'm stubborn. My response was always some derisive snort with a defeated retort like, "Yeah, right," or "You're so full of crap." But it set up a train of thought that one day . . . some day, I would simply arrive at this blissful destination where it would be wonderful and all my cares were over. but in my heart, I didn't really believe a place like that existed, and if it did, I wouldn't be allowed in. After all, I was damaged goods . . . broken . . . unworthy.

Anyone else have those thoughts? 

That's why it causes me to stop and marvel now and just how often I "missed the mark" back then -- how I didn't really understand what that counsel meant. It also makes me smile something fierce because I've realized ... there was NO TRAVEL REQUIRED ... I was ALREADY THERE. Happiness, peace, hope, whatever it is we need to feel good about ourselves isn't something we have to work hard for--prepare for--earn. By simply opening our eyes, taking a breath, life is good. Does that mean it runs smoothly? Heck. No.

Life's still going to throw curve balls and challenges our way but we can decide how we'll view them.

I've spent most of my life viewing those obstacles as some kind of karmic punishment--for what I didn't really know. Just that somehow I must've drawn the short straw or got in the wrong line or simply been inherently screwed--that it was my fault regardless. It never occurred to me that they were lessons, or when I did have the thought, I quickly dismissed it the second Life came knocking on my door with something new. So quick to dismiss and disempower. <<< is that a word? hahaha It is now!

Anywho, I didn't mean to ramble, although it's a superpower of mine. I basically wanted to share if you're like me who thought happiness had to be earned ... YOU. ALREADY. HAVE. Just by being YOU. There's no secret club. There's no magical words. There's not daring feat of awesomeness you need to perform.

Just be you. Embrace whatever lesson there is. Remember just how powerful you are. And conquer the world!

Hugs and kisses! Life is wonderful. <<< Man, it feels good to not just say that but BELIEVE it.

8 comments:

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