Sunday, January 10, 2016

Cheesy Vampire Pick Up Lines: What Are Your Favorites?


I recently reread Last Wolf Standing (#7, The Mystic Wolves series) and snorted out loud over this scene between Vlad and Darcy at Club Suck. I've gone to my fair share of clubs and the pick lines I've received and heard always crack me up ... like do peeps REALLY think they work? #HelloCheesiness
Obviously this guy did - which leads me to my question for today: What's YOUR favorite pick up line - paranormal or real life? <<< I just snorted again ... to me, my Wolves ARE real! hahaha #FictionalLove

Here's the snippet from Last Wolf Standing where the line came from:
(Purchase Link: http://amzn.to/1NC2DUq)

“Is that bloodlust I’m sensing?” A deep baritone voice whispered in my ear. “Or is that just lust.” 
We’d only been there thirty minutes, waiting to see if the informant would come forward, and I’d already been hit on five times. I tried declining politely, not wanting to offend what might be a genuine attempt to connect with the opposite sex. But based solely on the sickly, over-powering cologne that clogged my nose, number six was about to strike out, hard. It was everything I could do not to gag.

“Now, come on, beautiful. I promise not to impale you . . . with a stake.” His hot breath fanned across my skin. He thought he was being smooth—flattering even. For a split second, I wondered whether he’d pee his pants if he knew exactly who I was—what I was.

“I wouldn’t waste your time,” I quietly answered, finally turning to look at him. It was just as I thought. Mr. Rico Suave all but dripped sleaze from his pores. “In fact, let me make a suggestion—kinda do you a favor. Go home. Learn how to talk to a lady.”

The ‘come hither’ look he’d failed to master disappeared when he realized that not only had he been refused, but that I’d also insulted him. “Listen, bitch, I don’t bust my ass all day at a boring job just to have some skank think she’s better than me.” When his posture changed to a more threatening one, it triggered my wolf.

“Hello, my friend,” Vlad said, squeezing the jerk’s shoulder hard enough to make him wince, despite his false bravado. “You need to excuse my cousin, here. She gets a little cranky when she hasn’t had enough blood.” Biting at the air, his hands formed into claws and he held the pose before bursting into laughter, the guy instantly joining in.

“Cool, man. I hear you. There are plenty other chicks who are worthy of the V-Man.” Casting me a derisive glare, he smirked.

“V-Man?” Vlad asked, his expression curious.

“Oh, yeah.” The guy extended his hand in introduction. “The name’s Vlad. As in Vlad the Impaler.”

If I had been drinking, I would’ve choked. “Vlad?” 

The fool snorted. “Too late, love. You refused. It’s not every woman who can say she rode the Vlad train.” The more he spoke, the more my cousin’s body shook with barely contained mirth. 

“Yet, somehow, I think I’ll live with my regret. Enjoy your evening.” Saluting him with my ice water, once again, I dismissed him. 

“You need to teach your cousin some manners, bro.” Vlad, or whoever the hell he was, frowned. “Wait, you didn’t tell me your name.”

“I know.” Gripping his shoulder again, the only Vlad that mattered nodded. “I’d move on if I were you.” There must’ve been a brush of compulsion in his comment because the guy’s eyes glazed over and then he was gone.

“Holy cow!” I exclaimed, letting out a loud breath.

“Exactly. I was worried if I didn’t interrupt the conversation, you would’ve broken every bone in the hand he touched you with.”

His over-exaggeration made me laugh. “I wouldn’t have gone that far. Although, I did consider changing him to a soprano.”

Vlad tipped his head back, enjoying my brutal honesty. “I can just see it now. ‘Hey, Zane. You’re going to need a clean-up crew at Club Suck. No, everything’s fine. Some guy pissed Darcy off so she ate him’.”

© Last Wolf Standing, Belinda Boring

6 comments:

Thúy Nguyễn said...

Không thể phủ nhận, cua hang do go trang tri noi that hiện đại luôn cập nhật những gì đã được phổ biến hiện nay. Điều này khiến cho việc mua sắm đặc biệt trong những dịp cuối năm như thế này đối với các san pham noi that phong khach,mau noi that phong ngu, mau noi that nha bep có thể được làm mới hoàn toàn. Trang trí hiện đại là chủ yếu tập trung vào sự đơn giản và tối giản cho dù đó là cho các bức tường và thậm chí còn cho các đồ nội thất. Thật thú vị, tối giản ở đây là những gì làm cho các trang trí nội thất như một cái nhìn hoàn toàn sang trọng hơn và sang trọng. Vì vậy, xem xét ý tưởng này là một cái gì đó quan trọng phải làm để có thể chọn được sản phẩm ghe sofa phong khach hay danh mục sat my thuat, gia cong sat,gia cong inox,su kien quang cao

Hua Cai said...

oakley sunglasses wholesale
true religion jeans
rolex watches
toms shoes
michael kors online
cheap ray ban sunglasses
ralph lauren polo
mcm outlet
beats by dre
michael kors outlet online
ralph lauren polo
football shirts
ralph lauren uk
cheap mlb jerseys
tiffany jewellery
mulberry uk
rolex watches
michael kors canada
coach outlet
air jordan shoes
tiffany and co jewelry
hollister uk
mont blanc pens
ralph lauren polo
rolex watches
louis vuitton sunglasses for women
louis vuitton handbags
coach outlet store
ralph lauren pas cher
true religion canada
oakley sunglasses
juicy couture outlet
iphone case
swarovski crystal
cheap jordan shoes
20160611caihuali

Hua Cai said...

mulberry outlet
mont blanc pens
tods outlet
uggs outlet
michael kors handbags
cartier watches for sale
lacoste shirts
ferragamo shoes
ralph lauren polo
ray-ban sunglasses
20160927caihuali

raybanoutlet001 said...

ed hardy clothing
oakley sunglasses
louis vuitton pas cher
cheap ray bans
cheap ray ban sunglasses
ralph lauren
replica watches
salomon boots
michael kors handbags sale
pandora outlet

Anh Tang said...

Your article very well and good, bringing inspiration to many. I hope people visit my website.
Friv 11 | K7x |A10 Online |Firv |Yoob 5 .

Clara Bartlett said...

Hi everyone!!!

I'm so excited share this testimony here about how i got my ex husband back after a break up. I'm Clara 28 yr old from USA, Am a woman who love and cherish my husband more than any other thing you can imagine on earth continent. My husband was so lovely and caring after 3 years of marriage he was seriously ill and the doctor confirm and said he has a kidney infection that he needed a kidney donor, that was how I start searching for who can help, doctor has given me a periodic hour that he will live just 24 hours left, that was how I ask the doctor if I can be of help to my husband that was how he carried out the text, the confirming was successful, I was now having this taught that since 3 years now we got married I have not be able to get pregnant can I be able to get bring again? That was the question I ask the doctor, he never answer his response was did you want to lost your husband? I immediately reply no I can't afford to lose him. After the operation my husband came back to live and was healthy I was also OK with the instruction given to me by the doctor, after 3 months my husband came home with another lady telling me, that is our new wife that will give us kids and take care of us, that was how I was confused and started crying all day, that was how my husband ran away with his new wife cleanable. Since then I was confuse don't know what to do that was how I went back to the doctor and tell him everything, he told me that, this is not just an ordinary it must be a spiritual problem that was how he gave me this Email: Ahmedutimate@gmail.com that I should tell he all my problem that he can help that was how i contacted he and I do as instructed. After 28 hours and I have done what he ask me to do, my husband start searching for me and went back to the doctor, that was how we well settle he also told me not to worry that I will get pregnant, this month making it the fifth Month I contacted he am now 3 months pregnant. These great spell cater is a great man,
if you have any kind of problem you can contact him here on his
Email: Ahmedutimate@gmail.com or call/whataspp +2348160153829
Save Your Crumbling Relationship
http://www.thepetitionsite.com/takeaction/803/581/876/