I recently went on a reading FRENZY and couldn't get enough! A grand total of 20+ books were read (with reviews needing to be written *groans*) and I was in hog heaven, knee deep in swoony romance. I read a little bit of everything but I noticed that I was devouring the historical romance I had on my Kindle.
I love, love, love the feel and the way it sounds in my head. It sometimes has a very musical sound and it's so easy for me to get up in the moment with. BUT most of all... I LOVE the words authors use to describe certain actions. Want to see what I spent alot of time giggling over?
"And then he was kissing her in truth, tasting her, unable to stop himself from plumbing her depths"
Okay, I was so caught up in the moment, deep sighing... goofy grin and BAM! I went from heavy make out session with a sexy rogue to thinking of a balding handyman, showing me his "plumber crack" while he's messing with my pipes. Hehehe so not sexy!
"The rosy folds of her sex unfurled for him?"
OMGSH! If I had have been drinking, it would've shot out my NOSE with this. As it was, I almost choked. I understand opening up, seperating, parting.... but unfurling? The image I had in my mind was the hero going down for a peek and play and she unrolled out her red carpet for him "Ta da!" I am such a visual reader... you can't do this to me!
"Dipped into her mound"
Again, visual reader here and I understand the use of mound. It's popular and I've seen it everywhere but on that particular day, I went from hot scene to the hero with his hand in dirt.... gardening! Sure, it looked like he was going to end up plowing and reaping the rewards of his hard efforts but I honestly thought pile of dirt. Ick!
But my personal favorite....
"By the saints, I'm buried so deep inside you mignonne, I can feel your throat"
WTH?!? I honestly gagged for the poor heroine. How is that sexy? No crooning whispers, sweet words of endearments... just BLECH! I'm all for a little dirty talk and I can appreciate his gratitude for being able to get his manhood in but really? It leaves a bad taste in my mouth *giggles* Yep, I went there!
Does anyone else have a favorite or phrases that crack them up?