Friday, June 24, 2011

Real Life Romance - Why You Should Pick You Battles!

O.M.G.S.H! I laughed so hard, I had my hubby running into the room wondering why I was gripping my stomach, groaning. This post doesn't go well with after surgery stitches but it was SO worth it because it's HILARIOUS. Thanks to the Gutter Girls *waves... hey ladies* for posting this on Facebook because it's just what the doctor ordered. Now, I just need to regain control and lie back down, because that took alot out of me. Hope you enjoy it as much as me.

And that’s why you should learn to pick your battles.

By The Bloggess
June 21, 2011

This morning I had a fight with Victor about towels. I can’t tell you the details because it wasn’t interesting enough to document at the time, but it was basically me telling Victor I needed to buy new bath towels, and Victor insisting that I NOT buy towels because I “just bought new towels“. Then I pointed out that the last towels I’d bought were hot pink beach towels, and he was all “EXACTLY” and then I hit my head against the wall for an hour.

Then Laura came to pick me up so we could go to the discount outlet together, and as Victor gave me a kiss goodbye he lovingly whispered, “You are not allowed to bring any more goddam towels in this house or I will strangle you“. And that was exactly what I was still echoing through my head an hour later, when Laura and I stopped our shopping carts and stared up in confused, silent awe at a display of enormous metal chickens, made from rusted oil drums.

Laura: I think you need one of those.

me: You’re joking, but they’re kind of horrifically awesome.

Laura: I’m not joking. We need to buy you one.

me: The 5-foot tall one was $300, marked down to $100. That’s like, $200 worth of chicken for free.

Laura: You’d be crazy not to buy that. I mean, look at it. IT’S FULL OF WHIMSY.

me: Victor’d be pissed.

Laura: Yup.

me: But on the plus side? It’s not towels.

Laura: Yup.

me: We will name him Henry. Or Charlie. Or O’Shannesy.

Laura: Or Beyoncé.

me: Or Beyoncé. Yes. And when our friends are sad we can leave him at their front door to cheer them up.

Laura: Exactly. It’ll be like, “You thought *yesterday* was bad? Well, now you have a enormous metal chicken to deal with. Perspective. Now you have it.”

Then we flagged down a salesman, and we were all “What can you tell us about these chickens?”, as if we were in an art gallery, and not in a store that specializes in last years’ bathmats. He didn’t know anything about them, but he said that they’d only only sold one and it was to a really drunk lady, and then Laura and I were all “SOLD. All this chicken belongs to us now.”

To continue reading, visit The Bloggess HERE

Thanks for the giggle!


Julee J. Adams said...

I agree--I would be so totally there! Or maybe I'd be the drunk chick....

theJeepDiva said...

The drunk chick was most likely my mother in law. She has decorated her whole house in hideous chickens. She then decorated the outside with all things goat. It is all quite hee haw hellishly gaudy.

ChrisS said...

OMGSH! That was sooo funny. Thank you for sharing it with us.

V.K. Tremain said...

I was not drunk when I bought that chicken.... I swear! LOL Ok, so i didn't buy one...but this is hilarious!!! Thanks for the great laugh :) Love it!

BooksforCompany said...

I love this!! Haha thanks for sharing it, love that blog!

Belinda said...

I SO want this chicken! I think I'll make it my mission to buy one. Men beware - ticking your wife/lover/GF/significant other may result in a 5 ft chicken! LOL

KaceyS said...

*waves back* HI!!!

I'm at work now with tears in my eyes. Hilarious!

Killtan Roy said...

I start with thank you for sharing such an informative put up with us. i hope this proportion could be very beneficial for the readers. Moreover, additionally all of the factors with this proportion can be very attractive for the readers. Critiques of is write my essay likewise an amazing source for the readers