Sunday, February 27, 2011

Ten Indicators You're Reading Too Much Paranormal Romance

I've seen others put together one so I thought it would be fun to come up with my own list for the PassionPalooza. Some of these are of course observations and things I've seen from others but some... yep some are embarassingly true because I've done them. So here we go.

1. You replace the name of a client on paperwork with that of your current book crush and do sheet after painful sheet wrong because you're too busy daydreaming. Last time you checked, Vance Mangum was a warlock, not your client.

2. When on Facebook, you see a comment about an elderly woman doing a heroic act of bravery and the person's first thought was "Wow she must have eaten some Unseelie flesh"

3. A fellow blogger/tweeter is watching the Superbowl and makes the comment - "Who is the Packers guy with the flowing blonde mermaid hair?"

4. No man is interesting unless he has fangs or fur. You've even thought of putting in a special order for custom made vamp fangs just for your hubby.

5. With summer approaching, your first thought isn't about hot weather. It's about having an excuse to pull out the nail polish and having your lover paint your toe nails with the instructions of calling you "Ms Lane". Either that or "Kitten"

6. You stand at the supermarket checkouts with a sharpie in your hand, sighing as you draw fangs, wings, horns and wolf ears on all the men in magazines.

7. You swear an oath that your first born son will be called Vehnom because your secret desire is he'll become a member of the Black Dagger Brotherhood and give you access to your thigh-clenching crush, Zsadist.

8. You lock your loved one in the closet and tell them they can't come out until they've shapeshifted into something sexy like a dragon.

9. You purposely lurk in dark alleys looking like Daimon bait on the odd chance you run into a Dark Hunter. You make sure you never leave home without your "I HEART Atlantean Gods" badge

10. You dig up the neighborhood looking to see if you have a sexy Carpathian buried in the ground.

 Can you think of any others?


Karen said...

I'm kind of partial to numbers 7&8 myself. Great list!

ChrisS said...

LOL.. Thanks for the smiles. By the way, 9 and 10 are my favorites...sigh..

Ladybug07999 said...

Does this count?

When every song you hear you try to find a book to place it with as a "theme" song.

(Example: Song came on daughter's Ipod . . Evanescence, Weight of the World . . and I so tried to find a way to make it work for Nexi.)

Sondrae Bennett said...

This is fantastic! Great list!

BLHmistress said...

LOL I can't think of any off hand I do Love 5, 7, 9.especially 9 :)

Annette said...

Great job! Thanks--this really made me laugh.

Nichole Chase said...

So, uh, where do they sell the "I HEART Atlantean Gods" badges? Because, I need one or two. Nope make that four, great birthday presents. What, it isn't like I wanted them all for myself. Unless they come in different colors? ;)

LMW said...

LOL! Love it!...Wait, does this mean I need to stop reading paranormal now? :/

Heather said...

Snicker... Somehow I rather doubt Clay Matthews would appreciate being compared to a mermaid. LOL

Alexa said...

Lol I have a friend who made the middle name for her baby boy Jace. Although I would love to get closer to V not Z. Great list.

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