Monday, February 21, 2011

The Cheesy, The Awkward, The Insane - Romance Covers

So we've all seen them and laughed our butts off. Cheesy romance covers that make us cringe and the scary ones that have us screaming "WHY?" I know I'm not the only one who judges a book by their cover and you would think those designing and marketing romance novels would be aware of that. Apparently not, because I've seen some doozies recetly and my PassionPalooza wouldn't be complete if I didn't poke a little fun at some. I think I'll dub this "Cheesy Cover Day" on my blog. Enjoy!


Hahaha my first thought was she was leaning forward to fart.
Her thought - "Wait for it... wait for it. *lets a HUGE one rip* So where were we?"
But then I looked at the title and I thought, what a perfect cover.
Her thought - "Ok it said the next step was for me to lift my leg over yours and straddle you but this feels awkward. Is your thumb meant to be there George? What's the manual say?"
His thought - "This is the last time I let her go crazy in a book store. Why couldn't it have been a strip joint or something?"



Now doesn't this cover just get you excited? Nothing says "I want to have a quickie" than the angry pout of a very pissed off guy.
His thought - "I don't care if you're expecting me to be lying here all seductive, looking at you "come hither" like. Try having your naked body spread eagle in the snow. I swear if I get up and my thingee has frozen to the ground and I'm a eunuch, I'm going to have some harsh words with the fool that thought this pose was sexy."



Three cheers for the computer animation guy! Even they need a little loving too.
Wonder what his chest feels like to her?
Her thought - "Ohh I love how pixelated your skin feels Thor.
You're making my hard drive crash right here baby!"


Yikes! This is one SCARY cover. First thought? Oh look the she-man has a dolly!
How sweet is that? I wonder if he has tea parties with her? Are you scared as well?
**SHUDDERS**



His thoughts - "Oh gosh, doesn't she know that sitting on all this ice has me a little shrivelled? How am I supposed to perform like the hot stud she thinks I am?
Her thoughts - "Oh gosh hurry up and make your move already! I have to PEE!!"




His thoughts - "Baby, I know you want my body but can you do a favor for me first? Scatch my nose!"
Her thoughts - "Finally, the jerk is tied up. Wonder what I should do to him first. Ohh better make as though I'm lusting after to him. Throw him off his game before I bobbit him. Thinks he can go off and pillage while I'm at home slaving in a hot kitchen. I'll show him!"


11 comments:

Sondrae Bennett said...

I'll admit it, too. I DO judge a book by its cover. At least when picking them out. And I know I shouldn't and that many authors don't have much say in the design (and can I just say I love that my publisher lets us have a say). The computer animation covers have always bothered me. I'm not sure why their so big right now.

Selena said...

I'm just confused as to how the publishers thought any of these covers were any good. The stories might be, but the first thing readers see is silly covers. I know that we shouldn't judge a book by its cover, but....

BLHmistress said...

The last two would be the only two I would possibly choose by the cover the others are down right horrible and I probably would have walked on by without a second glance.

Vamchoir said...

With the image you posted, I'd expect a somewhat comedic sense of relief. Meanwhile, admitting this from personal experience, book covers are such a difficult thing to create. I used all my friends on Facebook like they were my advertising team and presented various options to them before the picked the one I used for R&R.

Considering how successful the Harry Potter books have been - I decided to go with a comic-type drawing in similar fashion. The Twilight series covers never made any sense to me. Who plays chess in that series? (Thinking of the white chess piece on a black background). Yet those books have been successful as well.

Maybe it's true that the book cover doesn't matter as much as we initially think?

Sharon S. said...

Snort!

LMW said...

HELP! I think I ruptured something from laughing so hard!! HAHAHAHAHAHA! Even my kids ran into the room to see what was so funny! LOL....Seriously a few snort worthy covers you've got here! It makes me sad for the authors, wondering how many readers may pass up a truly great story because of bad cover design? I would have bought the last one though! :D

Natalie C. said...

Ohmygoodness. That Familiar Touch creeped me out big time! It looks like he is playing doctor with a doll! Yikes.

And the snow ones? I think the same thing everytime I see something like that... Snow isn't sexy, it's just cold! Well, maybe sexy if you are warm and snug in a cabin in front of a fireplace and there is snow outside. Snow in your butt crack, however, SO not sexy...

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