Wednesday, January 5, 2011

A Highlander Wearing Underwear?? BLASPHEMOUS!!

Imagine my dismay when visiting my daily Internet haunts I stumbled across an article that threatened to crush my fragile Highlander loving heart. I don't know about you but there is something so incredibly arousing and addicting about the virile men of Scotland. From the very second, I opened my first Highland romance novel I was INFATUATED and couldn't get enough (I remember making my hubby drive me hours away so I could scour through a bookstore and buy EVERY Highlander book on the shelves) I love the thick brogues, the arrogant and cocky attitudes, the powerful physique and  their knee weakening ability to wield a sword. If I could I'd transport myself back in time to put myself at the mercy of some devilish laird and beg him to have his way with me. Everything about Highlanders pulls me in and I'll be lying if I didn't say I join countless other women in being just a "wee bit" curious about what happens under those plaids of theirs. It's part of the mystery, the fantasy of wondering whether these sexy men live up to the hype and so to read an article where a company in Scotland is requiring men to wear UNDERWEAR (I know .. the nerve!!) under the kilts they borrow, seems too blasphemous for words and ripped an extremely loud "HELL NO" out of my mouth. Doesn't the company know just how important it is that these wonderful men remain bare bottomed and free under those glorious pieces of tartan? What possible reason could they have to justify such an outrageous requirement? To me it would need to be a bloody good one and so curious I continued to read and I have to say - the decision must have been made by threatened men because the excuse was laughable.

It all comes down to laundry. Yes, you read right - LAUNDRY. Apparently the kilts are to "icky" to clean.

"People were hiring them to wear at weddings, parties and football and rugby matches. It doesn't require a huge leap of imagination to picture what kind of states they would come back in. Because of this and the potential hygiene problems, we are politely asking people to wear underwear"

Can you believe it? ROFL I'm sorry but my first thought was "Um hello?? Even with underwear on wouldn't the kilts come back in the SAME condition?" Does the company feel that by wearing underwear the man will automatically act different and treat the kilt more gently? The kilt COVERS things. It'll cover the underwear so how the heck does the underwear protect anything other than the man's family jewels?

"This is just a way of trying to make things as pleasant as possible for all our staff and customers. In terms of hygiene, as well as comfort, we feel most people will see the sense in wearing pants... We accept that some people will be opposed, but I'm sure they would change their minds if they were forced to clean kilts on Monday morning."

Oh I'm sorry, it's too unpleasant for your workers to put the kilts into MACHINES!! Seriously, this is the reasoning behind breaking with tradition and shattering the fantasies of women all around the world? Regardless of what was happening on top of the kilts, what's happening under is too icky for delicate sensibilities and so to avoid it, each wearer must now use underwear. No clause added about being mindful of kilt treatment. No suggestion on how to protect the kilt from getting unnecessarily dirty. Anyone else laughing at how absurd this all is?

Here's what I think. It has nothing to do with protecting the material because face it, underwear is NOT going to do it. It doesn't really have anything to do with hygiene issues because if a man is willing to expose himself to the elements and ALL that comes with it, he also accepts the consequences. If the man feels there's a risk, he'll chose on his own to cover up. It's nice to be concerned with the health of your customers manhood but it all boils down to personal choice. Using your staff as an excuse doesn't cut it either because cleaning the kilts are part of a job description and for some reason I don't see people going over the kilts in fine detail looking at each stain individually. There has to be something more and I think I found it...

The firm, which has also kitted out Sir Sean Connery, right, Irvine Welsh, Jonathan Ross and John "Smeato" Smeaton, revealed it does a roaring trade in leopard print and tartan boxer shorts made to be worn under kilts

Oh good gosh!! We all have sigh inducing fantasies of the “beast” beneath the plaid but honestly, leopard print underwear is not what I personally had in mind when I eventually get a glimpse of heaven and any hope of throwing down my Highlander in a fit of passion would end the first time I got an eyeful of the hideous material.

Anyone else see it? I think we've uncovered a HUGE conspiracy!! Threatened men have banded together with the hopes they can "lessen" the appeal of Highlanders in the eyes of their women. Insecure in their own masculinity, they've lashed out at the very heart of our daydreams and attacked the very thing that has captured our attention for centuries. How can we possibly maintain the smoldering attraction to those fine warriors when we know there's no chance of sneaking a peek at the package? Or if we were to get a glimpse, all we'd see is animal print? What's next? Spandex? Silk? Leather? Oh wait *ponders* I don't think I'll have a problem with leather *grins*

Here's my suggestion to the men who made the condition. Go into your storerooms and pick yourself a kilt. If you've got a loved one, get dressed up (minus the underwear) and go give her a surprise. Trust me - she'll thank you for it!! If you're flying solo at the moment - put the kilt on anyway and strut around your house, swinging your imaginary sword. Once you're in the right mind frame, head on out for a night on the town and channelling your inner Highlander, find yourself some tasty wench and woo her!! Underwear is for sissies and if it truly is just a matter of cleaning - throw a few more coins at your staff. Kilts are meant to be worn one way and one way only so please don't mess with tradition. Leave our Highlanders bare and free as the day they were born!! *wink* Happy kilting!!

To read the original article, click HERE


LMW said...

It sounds to me like the highland gentleman were having way too much fun in their kilts and the laundresses are sour over not getting any of the action! Ha Ha Just my opinion.....

Ricki said...

I'm sorry, but I have to agree with the article. If I were a guy, renting a kilt, I would not want one that had another man's bodily fluids on it. And I definitely would not want to wash a kilt that might have those same fluids (my husband has a kilt that is hand-wash only, so no machines there).

Alexa said...

Lol that is basically a marketing strategy. They want the men to wear underwear because they have a deal with the companies who make this animal print underwear. The kilt is going to get dirty no matter what if the men are wearing it out to play sports in. I'm with you on the leathers though. V from Lover Unbound wears those without any underwear and well I like him just the way he is. Fritz never complains about having to wash his clothes. ;)

Jesilea said...

Underwear under a kilt is wrong on so many levels... Suck it up and wash the bloody kilts! Must all traditions die????

Jules@OneBookShy said...

I was busting up reading this post! I just had to throw my 2 cents in..

I am married to one of those kilt-wearing rogues. He has four different kilts, only one of which is machine washable. The other three are wool, with one of them being nine (yes 9) yards of fabric. Washing these by hand, air drying them and then having to re-pleat them - especially the great kilt is a pain in the bare ass!

I can really feel for those having to do the laundry at the rental place and I'm only dealing with my hubby.

And yes, he goes commando most of the time ;)

BLHmistress said...

I am just gonna pretend I didn't read this and still imagine all those kilt wearing highlanders commando. Makes me much happier that way lol.

Book Dragon said...

once again I agree with BLHmistress and will pretend I didn't read this ;)

sigh, I do see their point, after all, we are borrowing their clothes. shakes head....nope, going with "I didn't actually read this" much more satisfying this way (I did laugh!)

Eve Langlais said...

ROFL. I'm with the rest in imagining them naked under that kilt. And to the lady who's husband goes commando under his --yeeha! That's awesome lol.

AngelGoneMad said...

Well seeing as my other half has rented kilts for all the weddings/functions we have attended I can understand both sides of the argument.

My other half always wears boxers under the kilts he rents due to hygiene etc and plus the kilt company we hire them from tell you that you have to wear underwear with them.

However, I know if he was to own the kilt then he would go underwear-less LOL

I think the thrill comes from not knowing whether men ARE wearing anything underneath their kilt or not..if they are then it's a disappointment but because that kilt does in fact cover everything..then it leaves a little to the imagination, eh Bel? hehe!

Naomi aka Supernatural Bookworm

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