So I was in a conversation lately where I shared some ideas I had about some writing I planned on doing. It was easy to realize that the story I had churning inside was going to be "darker" than I'm used to and that it really reflected a need I have to be surrounded by something more than the "everything is perfect fluffy love stuff". I hold the attitude at the moment that although love is important and that it definitely holds a fundamental part of my world, so do the emotions of pain and grief. That it's also essential to honor that life can be messy and angry, that the need to survive can be overwhelming. Life isn't just about the light things of the world, that half of the world is also in darkness and that you can't go throughout life without spending time in the shadows.
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I've thought a little more about my new attitude and how it's been affecting what I read and found that it's true that there is a time for everything and a book for every occasion. There is a time when reading is a necessary way to escape life, where light reading is all the heart can handle and a time where you hurt so bad that reading anything light feels too much like a mockery of what you're going through. I realized that I read according to my needs, according to what I need to ease and soothe myself. Sometimes that means I read the "happily ever after" story, the "nothing's gonna keep me down and watch me kick butt" story and lately it's been the "dark and stark reality" story. Whatever I feel the need to read can come from a place of wanting to be healed, of wanting to believe in all that is good and of wanting to be entertained. So it's okay that I find myself craving the dark and twisted. It can even be seen as healthy. Unfortunately, my library doesn't have much of that, which might explain the drive I feel to write something. Interesting times are ahead and so after sharing that, it's time for bed and the Highlander book that is calling me... like I said, a book for every occasion.